This is probably the most amazing, yet frightening time of our lives. The fact that I spent a few minutes trying to find my favourite synonym for the word ‘unprecedented’ gives an indication into; one, how overused that word has been since the Coronavirus became a global pandemic. And, secondly, the extent to which our lives have changed over the past couple of months.
(By the way, I’ve opted to use ‘unparalleled’ instead of ‘unprecedented’ from this point onwards.)
You’ll have noticed already that I’ve described the current situation as both ‘amazing and ‘frightening and you may be wondering how I could use such, almost paradoxical, adjectives.
Of course, ‘frightening’ is fairly self-explanatory. This is a global pandemic that is killing thousands, has closed borders, has locked down countries, has left millions jobless and is crippling the world’s economy.
Despite this, right now we have never, in general, had such a significant amount of time in which we can focus on others and on ourselves without any outside distraction.
We can slow down and live in the present rather than meander our way through life, single-mindedly focusing on the future, on our careers, on our finances.
We actually have time.
Time, one of the only things we cannot buy. The one thing that, on our deathbed, most of us will wish we only had a bit more of.
Which is amazing.
The reality is that you can have the beautiful partner, the massive house, the fast cars, the perfect physique and the wads of cash that our egos, arguably heavily influenced by social media, often desire.
But you can never have enough time and what you do with that time is entirely dependent on you.
According to social media there are two camps of people.
On the one hand, you’ve got those that believe the show must go on, that even in these unparalleled (told you) times we can continue our lives as close to normal as possible. We don’t need to let circumstances affect us. We can exercise at home, we can work from home and we can stay positive.
And then on the other, you’ve got those that say it’s OK to do nothing. If you want to sit and watch Netflix all day eating tubs of Ben & Jerry’s then knock yourself out.
I happen to fall somewhere in the middle of the two.
Here’s why:
I used to do a lot of self-flagellation – I’d regularly beat myself up over things that I didn’t really need to, thinking it was necessary for me to progress. I was my own harshest critic. I’d be lying if I said that it still didn’t creep into my life anymore, although I’ve a better handle on it now.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not sitting here on a high horse thinking I’m all woke.
I’m just saying I used to think a certain way and now I am trying to no longer think that way.
I was the person that wouldn’t show myself any compassion.
“You feel sad and don’t want to get out of bed? Well that’s not realistic. Get yourself dressed and get to work.”
“You’re depressed? Ha. You’ve got everything you need, you’ve never wanted for anything in your life. What have you got to be depressed about? You’re being ridiculous. Get up and get on with it.”
If I didn’t feel like doing anything I was a lazy piece of shit because I should be doing something.
For clarity, given the nature of my profession, often my examples will centre on exercise but this particular mindset is not confined just to exercise.
I genuinely believed that if I missed a workout I wouldn’t get the results to look and feel the way I wanted.
And yes, if you were to ask me at that specific time I’d vehemently deny it, I thought how I looked externally was the single most important thing about me.
And that’s why I’d exercise.
I’ve somewhat changed my perspective. I’ve used and still do use exercise to lift my mood, to allow myself time to think and reflect. Typically, this comes in the form of walking or running.
But I was wrong when I thought that the most important thing about me was the way I looked. Desperately seeking that perfect physique.
Comparison is the thief of joy, which is why I strive to no longer compare myself to anybody, particularly on social media.
Do I still do it? Sometimes, but nowhere near as often as I used to. And I’m able to acknowledge when I’m heading down that path and snap myself out of it.
This is why I’m in between the two camps of people I’ve noticed on social media.
Because I’ve been the ‘show must go on person’ and it was detrimental to my mental health.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting that everybody with that viewpoint is like me or would let it affect them like it did me. But it did affect me negatively, and maybe it is affecting you the same.
Having said all that, doing absolutely nothing did not help me either. Doing even the tiniest bit of exercise dragged me out of a huge slump as recently as January last year.
But I understand the nature of not wanting to do anything and you should cope with this situation however you want to cope with it.
And that means showing yourself compassion.
If that means exercising, reading, writing, painting, being creative or even doing nothing then that is absolutely fine.
In these unparalleled times our mental health, your family’s mental health, your friends’ mental health – is going to be tested.
Nobody can tell you how to deal with what we are all currently going through.
Comparison is the thief of joy – so never compare.
But do remember that we have so much time and the one thing we will all desire at the end is time.
Do what you can to make sure that, at the end, you’re not wishing for your time over again. Right now we’re in the present and there is so much we can do
mattyahill fitness 